Notes From Lockdown

Life Random Stuff

What strange times we are living. Feels like the entire world has stopped, although of course, it hasn't.

I've been in lockdown for about three weeks now, and so far all is well. Many people are talking about having all this free time in their hands, but I don't really. I'm juggling all the things that I always do, with the addition of fitting in a whole bunch of new things to keep things going. I'm chained to a computer most of the time of most days anyway, and the fact that the computer sits in my house now doesn't make much of a difference to most of the things that I do.

And yet, that's not entirely true. I ponder the massive, unexpected and total devastation that this virus has created for many people, both friends, and strangers.

Musicians, performers, event managers, people working in hospitality and travel... the repercussions of everyone suddenly staying at home are enormous. Livelihoods wiped out in a matter of a few short weeks. I can't even imagine what the future looks like, once we emerge back into the world outside.

Even though my situation is fairly stable, and life goes on from the confines of my home, I find myself feeling worried in unexpected ways. I seem to carry a lot of the worry as tension in my body. I wake up, teeth clenched, jaw stiff. My shoulders seize up and I suffer from massive headaches. Even though I don't feel explicitly worried, that worry sits deep within me.

I want to turn to the unexpected, possibly positive impact that this situation can offer. I get to spend more time with my family, which I really want to embrace. I don't think I will ever have another opportunity to spend as much uninterrupted time with them again. The news about the rapidly dropping pollution and greenhouse gasses is a silver lining. Can it last? Probably not, but perhaps it's a much-needed breather to our planet, nevertheless.

It's also good to notice that despite such a massive disruption, we are not running out of food, or toilet paper. There is no unrest, we are safe. When a society gets this seriously messed up, who knows what might happen.

Also, perhaps this is the time when we become very clear about what is important in life and what isn't. I feel many thoughts and things falling off as completely unimportant when only a few weeks ago I was wasting way too much of my headspace on them.

As with everything, over time the unusual becomes the norm. After three weeks, things are calming down. The tension in my body included. Right now, the UK government suggests our lockdown may take as long as six months. It feels completely surreal. I'm not sure what happens if that really becomes the case.

At times of distress, I find myself turning to art. Music. Beauty. Creating something. Anything. A time of crisis is fertile ground for making art. Suddenly there's so much to consider and so much to say. Life feels precious.

How is it going for you? What's going through your mind? I hope your safe, and healthy and finding your stride in this new, surreal reality.

Jessi.


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